Bouncing back..

You know when you thought you finally figured out how to organize your busy schedule, and one day you look up and you don’t have sh** organized. You just now figured out how to juggle 3 balls instead of 2, BUT still managing to drop one every now and then. Yea, that pretty much sums up where I recently was in life, and what I’m just now figuring out how to come out of.  Honestly, though, I think I just put wayyyy too much on my plate at one time. What’s that saying, your eyes are much bigger than your stomach. I kept piling on more and more stuff (kind of like I was at Golden Corral and they just brought out 5 FRESH items) thinking that I could handle it all and just like most people, when you have too much going on, you look at your list of stuff and just say forget it, I’m going on a mental vacation…for a good 3 months. No? Just me? Well, that’s what I did. I stopped reading, stopped volunteering, stopped meditating, stopped working out, and stopped focusing on ALL of my goals. Eventually I saw myself slowly falling back into that dark space again. I woke up the other morning with that weird feeling that I still can’t for the life of me describe, but the feeling is a mixture of emptiness, scared, lost and confused all in one. That’s when I knew, girl if you keep doing this nonchalant, I’ll get to it when I get to it routine, you’re going to end up right back where you were. In a room with the blinds closed, eating ice cream and crying your eyeballs out asking God, why me. Because, everything is His fault when things don’t go right. (I say that with the MOST sarcastic tone possible). I had to GROW and realize that it’s not God (or whoever you want to refer to as the higher power) putting you through this. God was probably looking down on me saying, “Girl, I was trying to reel you back in a couple months ago when I sent your pastor to you, even would throw you signs left and right about staying focused and remaining resilient.” But, of course, I didn’t listen.

The things that were keeping me lifted and motivated me, I just stopped doing because I thought I had it all figured out.

Why do I need to meditate, (I’m really feeling OK)?

• Well, Brittany, because when you did in the morning your day seemed to go a lot smoother and you could think more clearly.

Why do I need to stay spiritually lifted (I’ve read enough scriptures to last me a lifetime)?

• Well, Brittany, because that kept your faith strong.

Why do I need to volunteer my time to others and help out (They’ve never did anything for me)

• Well, Brittany, because that’s what keeps you leveled, humble, and brings honest and true happiness.

I won’t lie, these last few months of me cutting off the things that brought the good out of me and letting the not so good distract me, still brought growth. I continued to learn more about me. Likes, dislikes, things I can be content with, and things/people I knew I needed to let go. I see now why I choose to continue to do the things that pushed me forward; because just waking up, going to work, and coming home doing nothing was not working for me. I believe sometimes you need those distractions to remind you of what you need to do and why you’re doing it.

I say all of that to say, it’s okay to fall down every once and a while. My boy, Les Brown said, “When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up.” Take things slow if you have to. If you get tired of running, choose to walk. Hell, even choose to crawl. Just don’t choose to stop. Find something that keeps you motivated and going each day. “Let your reason get you back up.”

This thing called life is not for the weak and def not for quitters. Don’t let the world defeat you!